Chapter 4 - The Vacation That Wasn’t Mine
“Excuse me,” I said quietly.
I slid out of the booth with Lucy against my shoulder.
Colin looked up.
“Where are you going?”
“Lucy needs to sleep.”
He nodded.
“Don't take too long, Mal. We're hitting the dessert bar after this.”
I looked at him for one second.
Then I walked away.
The elevator ride to the suite took less than a minute.
It felt like crossing into another life.
Lucy whimpered against my shoulder as I unlocked the door.
The suite was dark and quiet.
I changed her diaper.
Fed her.
Rocked her.
Within fifteen minutes, she was asleep inside the portable crib.
Normally, I would have used those precious minutes to prepare tomorrow.
Wash bottles.
Lay out clothes.
Check the weather.
Refill the diaper bag.
Instead, I sat on the pull-out couch.
I didn't cry.
That surprised me.
I had cried over socks.
I'd cried over dishwasher noises.
I'd cried inside the shower so nobody would hear.
But sitting there in Florida, after being publicly congratulated for having such a thoughtful husband, I felt calmer than I had in months.
I opened my phone.
Airline app.
Orlando to Chicago.
The first flight I could reasonably make was 7:15 the following morning.
Three seats.
One adult.
One child.
One infant in arms.
My thumb hovered over the purchase button.
For half a second, guilt appeared.
Was I being dramatic?
Should I talk to Colin first?
Should I give him another chance?
Then I looked around the suite.
His golf shirt lay over the back of a chair.
An empty beer bottle sat beside the television.
On the counter was Kendra's half-finished smoothie.
Three damp children's swimsuits hung from the bathroom rail because I had washed them.
My personal debit card was attached to the room for incidentals because Colin's credit card had been temporarily frozen after a fraud alert the previous week.
I remembered his words at the pool.
Just turn your brain off.
I pressed Purchase.
Confirmation appeared.
Something inside me loosened.
I stood.
Then I packed.
Not Colin's things.
Mine.
Owen's.
Lucy's.
I folded diapers into the side compartment.
Packed bottles.
Packed Owen's stuffed dinosaur.
Packed my unread paperback.
I left Colin's golf shirts exactly where they were.
His wet swim trunks remained on the bathroom floor.
His charging cable stayed beside the bed.
I gathered only what belonged to the people whose lives I was responsible for.
Then I stopped.
That thought hit differently now.
Whose lives I was responsible for.
My children.
And mine.
I had forgotten the last one.
At around ten thirty, the family returned.
They were loud.
Happy.
Slightly drunk.
I lay on the pull-out couch pretending to sleep.
Colin whispered to someone near the kitchen.
“Mal crashed.”
Janice responded, “Poor thing. Babies are exhausting.”
I nearly laughed.
Apparently babies were exhausting from several feet away.
Colin climbed onto the mattress beside me.
“You okay?” he whispered.
“Yes.”
“Dinner was fun.”
I kept my eyes closed.
“Glad you enjoyed it.”
“You missed an amazing cheesecake.”
“I'll survive.”
He kissed my shoulder.
“You need to loosen up tomorrow.”
I opened my eyes in the darkness.
“Tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Boat tour.”
Of course.
Another activity.
He yawned.
“Mom thinks you can keep Caleb during part of it because Kendra gets seasick.”
I stared into the dark.
“Does she?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
Within minutes, he was asleep.
I wasn't.
I waited until 5:20.
Then I got up.
I dressed without turning on the light.
At 5:30, I touched Owen's shoulder.
His eyes opened slowly.
“Mom?”
I put a finger to my lips.
“We're going on an adventure.”
“What kind?”
“A secret morning flight.”
His sleepy face brightened.
“Are we going home?”
Children notice more than adults believe they do.
“Yes.”
He sat up immediately.
“Okay.”
No protest.
No request to stay with Caleb.
Just okay.
I helped him into his sneakers.
Then I strapped Lucy against my chest.
She remained asleep.
I pulled our suitcases toward the door.
Before leaving, I looked back.
Colin was sleeping.
One arm stretched across the empty side of the pull-out mattress.
For a moment, I almost felt sorry for him.
Then Doug snored loudly from the master bedroom.
I looked at the kitchen.
Room keycard.
Resort bill.
Sharpie.
I picked up the welcome letter and turned it over.
Then I wrote.
Colin,
You told me no cooking, no laundry and no schedules.
Since you wanted a family vacation, enjoy the rest of it with your family.
I took Owen, Lucy and my debit card.
The room charges, dinner tabs and Caleb's babysitting are now exclusively your responsibility.
I'm finally taking my break.
See you Monday.
—Mallory
I placed the note beneath his sunglasses.
Then I unplugged my debit card authorization through the hotel app.
At 5:43, I quietly closed the suite door behind us.
The corridor was silent.
Owen held my hand.
“Is Daddy coming?”
“Not today.”
“Is he mad?”
“I don't know.”
Owen thought about that.
Then he squeezed my hand.
“I'm tired.”
“Me too, buddy.”
The taxi ride to the airport was quiet.
Lucy slept.
Owen watched passing streetlights.
I stared through the window.
Every mile made breathing easier.
At 6:45, we sat near our gate.
Two suitcases stood in front of us.
Owen had a cinnamon roll and chocolate milk.
Lucy slept against my chest.
Around us, strangers moved through the airport.
Nobody asked me for sunscreen.
Nobody handed me somebody else's child.
Nobody expected me to remember golf reservations.
For the first time in ten months, my shoulders weren't pressed up near my ears.
Owen tore off a piece of cinnamon roll.
“Mom?”
“Yeah?”
“This is fun.”
I smiled.
“It is.”
“Can we do secret flights again?”
I laughed softly.
“Maybe not secret.”
My phone remained silent.
Colin was still asleep.
At 7:05, boarding began.
I looked toward the windows.
Morning sunlight reflected from the plane.
For the first time since we'd arrived in Florida, I felt like I was actually on vacation.
Then my phone vibrated.
Not Colin.
A resort notification.
Payment method declined. Please contact front desk.
May you like
I smiled.
The vacation was about to become much more educational for everyone back at the hotel.
