Chapter 5 - The Toast That Changed Everything
Our plane had already pushed away from the gate before Colin woke up.
I knew this because when I switched airplane mode off during our connection, my phone looked like it had been attacked.
Twenty-three missed calls.
Nine from Colin.
Seven from Janice.
Three from Kendra.
Two from the resort.
One from Ben.
One from an unknown Orlando number that I assumed was either Doug or someone from the front desk.
There were also fourteen text messages.
I read them in order.
COLIN: Where are you?
Thirty seconds later:
COLIN: Mal this isn't funny.
Then:
COLIN: Did you take the kids??
Then:
COLIN: CALL ME NOW.
Janice followed.
JANICE: Mallory, I don't understand what's going on.
Then:
JANICE: Colin is very upset.
Then:
JANICE: The hotel says your card isn't available anymore. Did you accidentally remove it?
Accidentally.
That almost made me smile.
Kendra's messages were more practical.
KENDRA: Are you coming back?
Then:
KENDRA: We have boat tickets at 10.
Then, five minutes later:
KENDRA: Who's watching Caleb?
There it was.
Not:
Are you okay?
Not:
Why did you leave?
Not:
Did something happen?
Who's watching Caleb?
I turned off the screen.
Owen was coloring beside me.
Lucy was asleep.
We had another forty minutes before boarding.
I bought myself coffee.
Hot coffee.
Exactly the way I liked it.
I sat down.
Then Colin called again.
This time I answered.
“Mallory?!”
His voice was frantic.
In the background, Janice was saying something loudly.
“Where are you?”
“At the airport.”
“What airport?”
“Orlando.”
“What are you doing at the airport?”
“Going home.”
Silence.
Then:
“What?”
“I'm flying home with the kids.”
“You left?”
“Yes.”
“Without telling me?”
“I left you a note.”
“A note?”
“I assumed you'd understand written instructions. I've been giving them to you for years.”
He went silent again.
Behind him, Janice shouted, “Ask her about the card!”
Colin covered the phone badly.
“I know, Mom!”
Then he returned.
“The front desk says the card on file doesn't work.”
“I removed my debit card.”
“Why?”
“Because I'm no longer at the resort.”
“But Mom tried to charge breakfast.”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“She'll need another payment method.”
“Mal, what the hell?”
I kept my voice calm.
“Don't swear at me.”
“You stranded us!”
“No, Colin. You are at a luxury resort in Florida with five adults.”
“We have plans.”
“So did I.”
“What does that mean?”
“My plan was five days of rest.”
“You are being ridiculous.”
I looked through the airport windows.
Maybe the old me would have started defending herself.
Explaining the laundry.
The children.
The missed meals.
The golf.
The spa.
The toast.
But suddenly, I understood that if someone had watched everything happen and still needed an explanation, more explanation wasn't the solution.
“Where's Owen?” he demanded.
“Right beside me.”
“I want to talk to him.”
I gave Owen the phone.
“Dad wants to say hi.”
Owen took it.
“Hi, Daddy.”
I heard Colin's voice but couldn't distinguish the words.
Owen replied, “Yeah.”
Pause.
“We ate cinnamon rolls.”
Pause.
“No.”
Another pause.
“Mom said we're having an adventure.”
Then Owen frowned.
“Why are you mad?”
My heart tightened.
I took the phone gently.
“Don't put him in the middle.”
“I didn't.”
“You are.”
Colin lowered his voice.
“Come back.”
“No.”
“We can fix this.”
“You have three days left. Enjoy them.”
“What am I supposed to do with everybody?”
That sentence told me more than he realized.
“What do you mean?”
“I booked this for everyone.”
“I know.”
“They're expecting—”
“Expecting what?”
He stopped.
I waited.
Finally he said, “You know.”
“Yes, Colin.”
I did know.
They were expecting me.
Expecting me to watch the children.
Expecting me to organize the meals.
Expecting me to remember the sunscreen.
Expecting me to keep Lucy quiet.
Expecting me to cut Caleb's food.
Expecting me to make the family vacation run smoothly enough that everyone else could relax.
Except me.
“I can't do everything,” he said.
I almost laughed.
“That is fascinating.”
“Mal.”
“You told me to turn my brain off.”
“I didn't mean—”
“So I did.”
“That's not fair.”
“Neither was inviting five people on the vacation you told me was supposed to give me a break.”
“They're family.”
“They're your family.”
“They're yours too.”
“Then why was I the only person working?”
He didn't answer.
In the background, I heard Janice clearly.
“Colin! We're going to lose the boat reservation!”
I smiled.
“Sounds like you have somewhere to be.”
“Mallory.”
“Enjoy the family vacation.”
Then I remembered his argument at the airport.
“Janice can help. After all, more adults means more help.”
I ended the call.
My hands shook slightly afterward.
Not from regret.
Adrenaline.
For years, I had avoided conflict because conflict created more work.
It was easier to do the task than argue about why someone else should do it.
Easier to remember the birthday than explain why Colin should have remembered.
Easier to pack the diaper bag.
Easier to make the pediatrician appointment.
Easier.
Until easier became unbearable.
When our final flight boarded, I turned my phone off completely.
The plane rose through the clouds.
Owen fell asleep against the window.
Lucy slept on my chest.
I opened my paperback.
For the first time since buying it, I read chapter one.
Then chapter two.
When we landed in Chicago, my best friend Rachel picked us up.
She took one look at me, then at the luggage.
“Where's Colin?”
“Florida.”
“With his family.”
“And you're here?”
“Yes.”
Rachel smiled slowly.
“What happened?”
“I finally took my vacation.”
She hugged me.
Not dramatically.
Just tightly.
At home, something strange happened.
Nothing.
No emergency.
No crisis.
No household collapse.
I ordered pizza.
Owen watched a movie.
Lucy crawled around the living room.
I didn't unpack.
I didn't do laundry.
I didn't check email.
At eight thirty, both children were asleep.
I sat alone on the couch.
The house was quiet.
My phone was still off.
I poured myself sparkling water.
Then I noticed the dinosaur sock.
The missing one.
It was sticking out from beneath the couch.
I stared at it.
Then I started laughing.
Hard.
So hard tears came.
But this time, the tears didn't feel like defeat.
They felt like release.
I picked up the sock.
I didn't put it away.
I left it exactly where it was.
Tomorrow could deal with the sock.
Tonight was mine.
But Monday was coming.
And Colin was coming home with it.
For the first time, I wasn't afraid of the conversation waiting for us.
May you like
Because this time, I wasn't going to explain how to help me.
I was going to explain what had to change.
